It is official, my first semester in college is coming to an end. Today is my last day for my psychopathology course and tomorrow December 9, 2020, is the last official day for everyone. Honestly, I couldn’t be more excited, but I am also going to miss some of my professors. I learned a lot this semester and it was interesting information as I saw many different perspectives such as feminism and how all these mental illness in the world are expressed in literature. As I proceeded throughout the semester I was able to improve my writing skills, alongside with that, I was also able to develop critical thinking skills. One reason in why I enjoyed this class is because of the skills that were developed as the semester went by, with these skills that were developed in this class I will be able to use them wisely in future classes in my college career.

This being said I cant wait for my next semester as I will be attending one of my favorite classes which will be Math 190. The skills that I was taught in this class I will be applying onto my future classes which will be my child development psychology course.

I have been feeling very stress lately. This thanksgiving break does not feel like a break at all. I have 3 assignments due after break. Yes, I know it is only 3 but they are very lengthy and not so easy. Looking at a computer screen for so long has been giving me so many headaches. As I am writing this my head is hurting as well. Sometimes I just wish I was back in high school, but we all gotta keep moving forward in life. Right now it is so hard to stay motivated because of the amount of procrastinating I have been doing. It’s just too hard to stay focused when so many assignments are calling my name. All I know is that after this I will be taking a break for the day and tomorrow I will resume to doing everything else. I was told the college life wasn’t going to be easy, but what I do know is that nothing is impossible. I have been saying this since the start of college and remembering that helps sometimes. I try to think about the semester ending, but I can’t without getting these assignments over with. I hate stressing, but stressing is technically part of life and at least it is temporary. That means all these negative moods are temporary as well, because right now I am not in a good one. Tomorrow is a brand new day and I hope it’s better than today.

Okay, so I don’t know if these are rumors or actual facts, but supposedly a second wave of covid-19 is approaching and there will be another lockdown starting December 1st. It’s very hard to believe all this with the news causing so much panic all around the world. At this point I believe this is all political. However, it can also be that people just don’t listen and don’t care about this pandemic. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and Christmas is next month as well as New Years and honestly people are taking these holidays too serious this year. Why stress it out ? We are living in a pandemic and we should honestly spend these days with our loved ones, instead of inviting so many people like others usually do. My brother did tell me it’s a tradition and that is why people don’t know what to do. I believe this year these traditions should be put on hold. If there are more gatherings , the situation is just going to get worse. The last thing people want is for it to be their fault that the cases keep on rising. The holidays can wait, but our health can’t.

So in a few weeks, my first semester of college will be over. No way time has passed by that quick. Right now I am not thinking about the end too much because there is still work that has done. For my fellow freshman class, if you are reading this, we got this. Let’s keep up with the hard work and end this semester right. I can’t say it’s officially over because we have one more semester to go, but with the way time is moving, we will be ending very soon. I sometimes wish we can just end in peace, but we have finals later. That means a whole lot of writing for me. This may sound weird, but I 100 % prefer taking a 50 multiple choice exam than writing all these papers. I want to think of the end, but these papers keep popping up in my mind. I honestly can’t wait to change my major to biochem because this writing has my brain going all over the place. However, I am still getting good grades, which means the hard work is paying off. It’s weird because it’s like people tend to do good on the subjects that are their least favorite. Anyways, that’s enough complaining about subjects and more of thinking positive and admiring the outcomes. This will all be worth it the day I get handed that degree.

It was November 1st. Woke up at 9 am and made some breakfast. Eggs and oatmeal, with some blue berries and got ready for a gym session with my friends. We decided on working on arms, followed by some sets of bench press. We love benching because it is so satisfying lifting a certain amount of weight. In my opinion, I feel proud when I bench because that’s how you know I’m working hard and eating well. We all hit different PR’s (Personal Record). Mine was 1 rep of 165. My friend Syed hit the same amount for 5 reps, and my other boy Brandon tried to hit 225 for on but sadly it backfired. By the way, I don’t mean that in a negative way. Failing is part of the process and so if you are reading this, PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP. I remember I couldn’t even lift the barbell and now look at me. My goal now is to reach 225 by the end of 2020. Which means it is time to clean up my diet and stretch more. I put a lot of emphasis on stretching, but without it, it opens yourself up to many injuries. So I stretch 10 minutes before every workout so I won’t tear anything in my body. All in all, I am on the road to 225 !

Who would think that last week would be a week full of stress ? Not I. Papers were due back to back all last week and it was a struggle for some. I had 3 papers for my psychopathology class that were due the 22nd and 23rd. The 22nd paper was not as bad as I thought. I’m proud to say it was easy and I got a 98 on it ! The 23rd papers were composed of two parts and those were the ones I struggled in the most. I started this paper a week before it’s due date and I still couldn’t finish. It was very hard to organize all my ideas. I tried outlines, but nothing seemed to work for me. I was wondering if I was overthinking this or if this was actually just hard. It was a mix of both. I needed to lock myself in my room so I can get it done and concentrate and that actually worked and began writing like my life depended on it. Till this day I’m waiting for my grade. I’m actually worried because I had so much trouble, but honestly I would be okay with whatever I get because I didn’t give up. See I’m someone that rather work hard and do whatever it takes to get my work done. If I get a low grade but pass I’ll be okay with it because at least I got this grade due to the amount of work I put in, rather than doing nothing and actually aiming for that low grade. That’s not me.

All in all, I submitted everything and I was finally stress free, even tho I had my fun paper due the 26th, for my psychology class. I wasn’t too stressed for this paper because my professor already gave us a sort of outline to help us organize this paper. We simply answered 5 questions with a lot of information and that made up 5 paragraphs. 5 long ones. The only time I stressed was when it came to paraphrasing my answers because we had to submit our work through a site called safe assign. That detects plagiarism. I was worried that some of my answers were going to look similar to the book. Some answers were hard to paraphrase, in my opinion. However, I still got it done. I finished this paper in 2 days which was faster than the others. Mind you, I HATE WRITING, and so this was a good thing I guess you can say.

This semester is slowing coming to the end. Just a few more papers and exams left. I got this. I really hope I do. I have never studied and read this much in my life. College is no joke, but it’s okay I got this.

The Corona Virus. A virus that either hits a person hard and dies or one gets it but doesn’t show any symptoms. The question some people tend to always ask is if this virus is really a virus. Some believe this was invented by the government and some believe this was a way to wipe out the people that were harming the environment. Crazy right. Why is that when a husband is tested positive, the wife is tested negative ? Experts said in the beginning that this virus can easily spread if not taking appropriate precautions. Clearly that is false now, if in a couple only one person has it yet both stayed in physical contact. This virus is not like no other. However, it doesn’t mean that people should stop wearing masks because at the end of the day, anything can possibly happen. The point is, many people including me have different beliefs. It’s impossible that someone can have it yet now show any symptoms. It’s like experts just keep putting lies in our brains just to scare the world. The theories never end until a vaccine comes out. I think people shouldn’t rely too much on the news because the news just try to create drama between all these situations. The truth does not always come out.

After 6 months of straight quarantine without stepping foot outside, we were finally able to get back to having some sort of fun during the summer and a little bit in September. However, cases of covid-19 have been increasing once again. Why ! Just why ! Not again. Regardless everyone had to wear masks every time they went out, but we were all still having fun. Now people aren’t taking this serious just because more businesses are opening up. Our normal lives are going to consist of wearing masks 24/7, but people think otherwise. They thing it’s okay to not be protected and that’s why the cases are rising. Recently some restaurants, gyms and schools closed down because they are now in the red zone, which means an area where the virus can spread easily. Things were getting better, but people keep messing it up for everyone. Innocent people are getting the virus, but it’s not their fault. I blame the careless and immature individuals. I know I shouldn’t blame anyone but this a virus where people have to be on the same page. That’s the only way for the spread to stop. Although there’s not a drastic increase every day, there’s still cases no matter what. This can be prevented. I really hope the vaccine comes out soon so we can get back to living our lives like before.

The moment I found out that all gyms in New York City were going to close down due to covid-19, my mood instantly went to the floor. Before New York went to quarantine, I worked out 5-6 times a week and it was going great. I was getting stronger every week and I was gaining clean wait. The results I saw made me feel more confident about myself and going to the gym became an addiction. It was my type of therapy. A place where I was able to clear my mind from all the stress and negativity in my life. The month of march 2020 approached and covid-19 became spreading day by day and many lives were lost. There was nothing left to do, but for our government to shut everything down and, stay home. No gym, no park, nothing.

It’s been 6 months without a single dumbbell in my hand, until September 2nd, 2020. The gyms finally opened back up !! The place to do what I love and where I can enjoy some peace. I wasn’t worried that I wasn’t going to be able to lift as much as how I used to or that I basically had to start off as a beginner again. I was back at the gym and that’s what mattered. I knew it was time to work even harder to get back to how I was. Fast forward to now, my strength and size are officially coming back. Since the gym’s reopening, I’ve been going 5 times a week, keeping the weight light and increasing it little by little, and most importantly keeping my diet clean. I keep my protein and carbs high, because my main goal is to gain clean weight. I’ve been noticing good changes due to the food I’m eating and I’m proud of myself. It’s going to take some time to get back to how I was, but that’s the beauty of it. I’m enjoying and trusting the process. My goal before 2020 ends is to weigh 180 IBS, and I’m confident that will happen.

This week has been full of assignments and excitement. Let me start of with the work. This week I was assigned to do a personal narrative for my psychopathology and Literature class, based on my experience and connections to the stories I’ve been reading. I actually like this assignment because I’m able to connect to one story and I have so much I can write about. However, I don’t want to be too confident and so I’m trying to organize this personal narrative as best as possible. Like I said in my first journal, I’m not a fan of writing and reading because throughout my life I struggled even if I stood up for hours trying to make my papers perfect. It’s okay though because there’s always room for improvement and motivation is key when it comes to school, and not just for other things outside of school. I’m glad that I get to write a first draft because then I’m able to make edits based on feedback given from my professor and classmates. I can’t say right now what I feel like I’m going to get on my narrative because then I’ll overthink and mess up my draft completely.

 

Now here is my exciting news ! I was finally able to reach out to an advisor from the biochemistry major, and got some very useful information in order to receive the classes that are required for that major. I’m happy about this because I really love the science and math subject and these are subjects that I don’t mind staying up all night for, in order to complete the work that I get assigned. Chemistry is my area of comfort and majoring in biochem will give me the opportunity to implement that knowledge into life, which I find very interesting because a hospital lab is where I can possibly be in and that’s where I see myself. Instead of reading so many chapters, I rather solve equations and perform experiments in chemistry. I will be meeting with that advisor soon and hopefully I’ll receive some more useful information so I can be ready for the next semester. I did want to be a chemical engineer, but here In college there’s so many options that anyone can change their mind. I’m not too worried about the major because it’s something I love to do.